under the covers.

Why does it feels like I'm lying to myself whenever I try to keep my mind in a positive way?
Why do I constantly feel like I am not enough whenever I say to myself in the mirror not to push my self too hard?
Why does it still haunts me everyday in the corner of my mind that I have always fail in life?

Am I the only one? is this what do they call breakdown when all the "positive thinking" you've been keeping and kicks your butt and you'll no longer will be able to hold your tears?

Why do I do this? Is this even healthy for me? What am I doing wrong? What should I do? Is this even normal?

Is it possible to always be positive? or maybe is it even possible to be positive rather than lying to yourself?

I keep myself locked in my room since when I walk outside I feel like I'll ruin everything and I'll feel unwanted and as a stranger.

I hate the way I feel, where's the exit door? I'm fed up. Will I ever be good enough? Will one day I'll be able to breath freely with no worries?


Will all my heart I hope.